Andy Williams: Teabagger.

The news item's a few months old (September of 2009), but since it's almost xmas and old Andy's "Most Wonderful Time" is blaring out of various speakers, it seems appropriate.

Seems old Andy doesn't like Nobel Peace Prize Winner President Obama. The Telegraph reports:

“Don’t like him at all,” he said, “I think he wants to create a socialist country. The people he associates with are very Left-wing. One is registered as a Communist."

“Obama is following Marxist theory. He’s taken over the banks and the car industry. He wants the country to fail.”

Okay. Andy doesn't like them Socialists, either. Since he wants to talk like one of those teabagging morons, he needs to print out the following and sign his name and date it:

I, _____[Andy Williams] ___________________, do solemnly swear to uphold the principles of a socialism-free society and heretofore pledge my word that I shall strictly adhere to the following:

I will complain about the destruction of 1st Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 1st Amendment Rights.

I will complain about the destruction of my 2nd Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 2nd Amendment rights by legally but brazenly brandishing unconcealed firearms in public.

I will foreswear the time-honored principles of fairness, decency, and respect by screaming unintelligible platitudes regarding tyranny, Nazi-ism, and socialism at public town halls. Also.

I pledge to eliminate all government intervention in my life. I will abstain from the use of and participation in any socialist goods and services including but not limited to the following:

* Social Security

* Medicare/Medicaid

* State Children’s Health Insurance Programs (SCHIP)

* Police, Fire, and Emergency Services

* US Postal Service

* Roads and Highways

* Air Travel (regulated by the socialist FAA)

* The US Railway System

* Public Subways and Metro Systems

* Public Bus and Lightrail Systems

* Rest Areas on Highways

* Sidewalks

* All Government-Funded Local/State Projects (e.g., see Iowa 2009 federal senate appropriations)

* Public Water and Sewer Services (goodbye socialist toilet, shower, dishwasher, kitchen sink, outdoor hose!)

* Public and State Universities and Colleges

* Public Primary and Secondary Schools

* Sesame Street

* Publicly Funded Anti-Drug Use Education for Children

* Public Museums

* Libraries

* Public Parks and Beaches

* State and National Parks

* Public Zoos

* Unemployment Insurance

* Municipal Garbage and Recycling Services

* Treatment at Any Hospital or Clinic That Ever Received Funding From Local, State or Federal Government (pretty much all of them)

* Medical Services and Medications That Were Created or Derived From Any Government Grant or Research Funding (again, pretty much all of them)

* Socialist Byproducts of Government Investment Such as Duct Tape and Velcro (Nazi-NASA Inventions)

* Use of the Internets, email, and networked computers, as the DoD’s ARPANET was the basis for subsequent computer networking

* Foodstuffs, Meats, Produce and Crops That Were Grown With, Fed With, Raised With or That Contain Inputs From Crops Grown With Government Subsidies

* Clothing Made from Crops (e.g. cotton) That Were Grown With or That Contain Inputs From Government Subsidies

If a veteran of the government-run socialist US military, I will forego my VA benefits and insist on paying for my own medical care.

I will not tour socialist government buildings like the Capitol in Washington, D.C.

I pledge to never take myself, my family, or my children on a tour of the following types of socialist locations, including but not limited to:

* Smithsonian Museums such as the Air and Space Museum or Museum of American History

* The socialist Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson Monuments

* The government-operated Statue of Liberty

* The Grand Canyon

* The socialist World War II and Vietnam Veterans Memorials

* The government-run socialist-propaganda location known as Arlington National Cemetery

* All other public-funded socialist sites, whether it be in my state or in Washington, DC

I will urge my Member of Congress and Senators to forego their government salary and government-provided healthcare.

I will oppose and condemn the government-funded and therefore socialist military of the United States of America.

I will boycott the products of socialist defense contractors such as GE, Lockheed-Martin, Boeing, Northrop Grumman, General Dynamics, Raytheon, Humana, FedEx, General Motors, Honeywell, and hundreds of others that are paid by our socialist government to produce goods for our socialist army.

I will protest socialist security departments such as the Pentagon, FBI, CIA, Department of Homeland Security, TSA, Department of Justice and their socialist employees.

Upon reaching eligible retirement age, I will tear up my socialist Social Security checks.

Upon reaching age 65, I will forego Medicare and pay for my own private health insurance until I die.

SWORN ON A BIBLE AND SIGNED THIS DAY OF _[December 24]_ IN THE YEAR _[2009]_.

_____________ _________________________

Signed Printed Name/Town and State

Sing it, Andy, you old teabagger you.

Because Nothing Fails Like Prayer...

There's a wingnut--Janet Porter--over at WingNutDaily who says opponents of the health-care legislation that recently passed the Senate should pray and fast to convince the Sky-Buddy that they're serious in their opposition.

Sky-Buddy is then expected to make the legislation stop, the same way he made Democrats miss the voting sessi...oh, wait, he didn't. See, last week one of the Goposaurs--Senator Tom "C-Street" Coburn asked fellow Goposaurs to pray that someone would miss the upcoming vote. Some teabaggin' morons prayed that Democrat Byrd would die (there's that christer love from the right-wingers).

ALL the Dems showed up. Goposaur Senator James Mountain Inhofe missed it. Ten pounds of FAIL in a 5-pound bag.

Remember when the Goposaurs (in the form of Dobson over at Focus on the Family) called for prayers that there would be bad rains at Obama's 2008 nomination acceptance speech in Denver? Hurricane Gustav gave them a few headaches. Things didn't go as planned.


So Wingnut Janet Porter wants anti-health-care people to use their "secret weapon." Prayer. Prayer and FASTING.

Prayer doesn't seem to be working out for the Wingnuts lately. If they starve themselves long enough, they'll become a burden on the health-care system.

Lotsa Kooks.

So far, I've got 413 kooks and kook organizations in a spreadsheet index, with 12 classifications.

And all I did today was Photoshop my first face-swap: Wild Bill Donohue has a portrait now!

How in the hell do the pro-bloggers find time to do it all?

Hero #02: Carl Sagan

It's been nearly 13 years since he died, and nearly 30 since I sat glued to the TV watching "Cosmos."

The man did everything, it seems, from advising Apollo astronauts to working on the gold records the Voyager craft are carrying beyond the solar system even now.

I wish I could say that Mr. Sagan inspired me to excel in science or some such, but it wasn't until after his death in 1996 that I started thinking skeptically about things. It was only a few months ago that I even started thinking about who I would even consider a "hero." I think I've got a good idea, now. He was a strong advocate for the sciences, for skeptical and critical thought.

I wish I'd listened to him when I was that kid in 1980.

John Boswell's Symphony of Science features some well-done nods to Mr. Sagan--if you don't like AutoTune songs, you'll still like this, because the "singer" is Sagan himself, in clips from "Cosmos."

Mabus, David (actually Markuze, Dennis)

This guy's just a low-hanging fruitloop, not really one of your more impressive kooks. According to Skippy the Skeptic's blog, Mabus is actually Dennis Markuze of Canada, a devoted Nostradamus fan who is convinced that the old boy predicted the existence of Depeche Mode.

Mabus is also obsessed with James Randi and his million-dollar challenge, claiming that Randi owes him that million bucks and sneering that Randi has "taken down" the challenge.

Doesn't like atheists, apparently. His most-recent post in the alt.atheism newsgroup:

Path: border1.nntp.dca.giganews.com!nntp.giganews.com!postnews.google.com!r24g2000yqd.googlegroups.com!not-for-mail
From: David Mabus
Newsgroups: alt.atheism
Subject: Atheist Apocalypse
Date: Sat, 28 Nov 2009 04:52:42 -0800 (PST)
Organization: http://groups.google.com
Lines: 4
Message-ID:
NNTP-Posting-Host: 174.142.32.173
X-Trace: posting.google.com 1259412762 29712 127.0.0.1 (28 Nov 2009 12:52:42 GMT)
X-Complaints-To: groups-abuse@google.com
NNTP-Posting-Date: Sat, 28 Nov 2009 12:52:42 +0000 (UTC)
Complaints-To: groups-abuse@google.com

Kicking in the heads of atheists one at a time...


http://nostradamus-america.atspace.com/

Apparently, he thinks "kicking in" atheists' heads involves a ton of YouTube embeds of Depeche Mode videos.

But he's pathetically unoriginal:

David said...

Kicking in the heads of atheists one at a time...

http://nostradamus-america.atspace.com/

That was in the comments of the Skippy page I linked to above--May of 2008.

Heh.

I've asked him to complete a list of his other kook credentials so that a better entry can be completed here.

Given that Mabus is a troll, PZ Myers at the Pharyngula blog has seen fit to put Davie in the Dungeon--his blog's killfile.

Updates:
On Dec. 4, he replied to the "Lotsa Kooks" post...by linking to a post on the forum at forteantimes.com:

Posted: 02-12-2009 20:18 Post subject: Atheist Apocalypse

Kicking in the heads of atheists one at a time...

http://nostradamus-america.atspace.com/

This guy's more boring than _I_ am.

He's apparently got a boring FaceBook page, too--but it can't be real because it shows him as having FRIENDS (tip of the hat to PanamaFloyd for finding it). Going by his picture, Dennis has a garish gold face and no eyes, and grapes for hair. Scary.

December 13, 2009: Another discussion of Mabus, this time at Skeptic Friends Network (September 2009). Apparently this goofball threatened James Randi and his wife for "cheating" him out of the million-dollar prize.

Photographed at AAI convention.

People demand action on dealing with him; cops do nothing.

Petition goes out demanding action on his threats and stalking


Montreal police answer 4,000-name petition by announcing they'll finally investigate him; his mother says he's a good boy, misunderstood: cops probe death threats; Time to Institutionalize...

...and he's discussed Mabus before:
Markuze exposed
Update on Markuze
Goats On Fire

Some rightie jobbie thinks he's an undercover liberal

Arrested! Aug 17, 2011

Back-story of his exploits, leading up to the arrest
Notorious spammer brought down

Gets conditional release, goes back to trolling (no death threats so far); next hearing Jan. 25, 2012
Out and back in business

Nov. 20, 2012: resumed posting online (including alt.atheism) under the nym "Operation Archangel"); was re-arrested by Montreal police for violating the terms of his probation. Judge releases him in exchange for a promise to stop.
He's back...

November 21, 2012: wow, visited by the Great Man himself (see comments).

November 25, 2012: Tim Farley has a writeup on Mabus' rearrest.

Birthers at Work!

Over at the Daily Kos, I'm reading about an addle-minded Birther, Phil Wolf, who has basically screwed himself and his car dealership business with a billboard demanding that Nobel Peace Prize Winner President Obama prove his citizenship.

This reminded me of the birthers in my own workplace; a few days ago one of them showed us a birther email that he found very convincing (my comments in [brackets]:

--- On Wed, 11/18/09, [email redacted] wrote:

From: [redacted]
Subject: Fw: NEED FOR PRAYER
To: [long-ass list of email recipients redacted]
Date: Wednesday, November 18, 2009, 12:22 PM


On Wed, 11/18/09, [email redacted] wrote:

From: [redacted]
Subject: Fw: NEED FOR PRAYER
To: [redacted]
Date: Wednesday, November 18, 2009, 12:47 PM

----- Forwarded Message ----
From: [redacted]
To: [5 more names redacted]
Sent: Tue, November 17, 2009 7:58:57 PM
Subject: Fw: NEED FOR PRAYER

AS THIS E-MAIL MAKES ITS WAY ACROSS AMERICA AND BACK, EVERYONE WHO RECEIVES IT PLEASE STOP FOR A MOMENT AND SAY A PRAYER THAT GOD WILL PUT A HEDGE OF PROTECTION AROUND JUDGE CARTER AND HIS FAMILY.

[heh. I wonder if any of them participated in Operation Prayer Shield?]

Good luck judge!

Well well,

Here comes the Judge

Federal Judge Carter sets Trial Date for Obama's Eligibility!

The expedited trial has been set for Jan. 26, 2010!

[ah, yeah, about that--no it hasn't. See below.]

Many concerned veterans and citizens attended the hearing in Federal Court in Santa Ana in the lawsuit against Barack Obama to determine his eligibility to be President and Commander in Chief. About 150 people showed up, almost all in support of the lawsuit to demand that Obama release his birth certificate and other records that he has hidden from the American people.

Judge David Carter refused to hear Obama's request for dismissal. He indicated there was almost no chance that this case would be dismissed. Obama is arguing this lawsuit was filed in the wrong court if you can believe that. Obama would prefer a "kangaroo court" instead of a Federal court! Assuming Judge Carter denies Obama's motion for dismissal, he will likely then order expedited discovery which will force Obama to release his birth certificate in a timely manner (if he has one).

The judge, WHO IS A FORMER U.S. MARINE, repeated several times that this is A VERY SERIOUS CASE which must be resolved quickly so that the troops know that their Commander in Chief is eligible to hold that position and issue lawful orders to our military in this time of war. He basically said OBAMA MUST PROVE HIS ELIGIBILITY to the court! He said Americans deserve to know the truth about their President!

[Hah!]

The two U.S. Attorneys representing Barack Obama tried everything they could to sway the judge that this case was frivolous, but Carter would have none of it and cut them off several times. Obama's attorneys left the courtroom after about the 90 minute hearing looking defeated and nervous.

[HAH!]

Great day in America for the U.S. Constitution! The truth about Barack Obama's eligibility will be known fairly soon - Judge Carter practically guaranteed it!

Video from the press conference after the hearing coming soon. Congratulations to plaintiffs attorney Dr. Orly Taitz! She did a great job and won some huge victories. She was fearless!

[she's been largely ineffectual, actually; her big case with that other bucket of birther crazy Alan Keyes was dismissed by Judge David Carter--you know, the one they're gushing about above--in late October.]

This needs to be forwarded to everyone you know....

What a bucketload of crap. I got the guy to forward it to me--there's no way I'm gonna pass up an opportunity to mock birthers.

I especially like the bit about "plaintiffs attorney Dr. Orly Taitz," who was recently fined $20,000 for filing a frivolous lawsuit and could be disbarred. I wonder what those "huge victories" are that this dentist and soon-to-be-former lawyer has won?

(Yes, she does sign herself as "Orly Taitz, DDS, Esq.")

Johnathan Turley writes about Taitz' $20,000 FAIL:

The bill is in for Orly Taitz, the California lawyer leading the “Birther” litigation: $20,000 for sanctionable conduct. U.S. District Court Judge Clay Land previously issued a stern warning to attorney Orly Taitz and others in the so-called “birther” campaign: do not file another such “frivolous” lawsuit or you will face sanctions. Land threw out the lawsuit filed on behalf of Capt. Connie Rhodes who is an Army surgeon challenging her deployment orders due to President Barack Obama’s alleged ineligibility to serve as President. Land (a Bush appointee) noted that “[u]nlike in ‘Alice in Wonderland,’ simply saying something is so does not make it so.” In the most recent order, Land said that Taitz’s conduct “borders on delusional.”

There's already a Bar complaint against her in California--and Capt. Rhodes was considering filing one of her own back in October.


At any rate, I'm not surprised that my two co-workers are taken with this nonsense; both are conservative, neither of them is a fan of Nobel Peace Prize Winner President Obama (I need to start saying it that way at work, just to see if I get a reaction). Both of them seem willing to believe almost anything about him.

But all it takes is a Google search on a few words--"snopes+taitz+carter+2010+trial" to find the Snopes page about the email, and find that it's nothing but horseturds! The guy who showed us the email had it on his freaking NETBOOK. All his lazy ass needed to do was pop over to the Google and ask the Oracle whether the email was even true or not. He'd have found the Snopes link at the top of the search.

Lazy.

Pat Dollard...Ed Brayton's pet kook

Grab your popcorn, folks, this one's fun!

Over at Ed Brayton's "Dispatches from the Culture Wars" blog, there's a little kook trotting around, trying to make himself seem big and scary!

I'm jealous. I don't have a pet kook.

October 17: Brayton posts about a YouTube flick mocking iPhone apps and wingnuts in Congress. Pat, that tower of intellect, that POWERhouse of rhetoric, brought it: "Fuck you."

October 20: Brayton has noticed Pat. He mocks a mock church bulletin.

October 20: Pat whines about his mistreatment in a Political Byline post. Warning: Coultergeist greets you as a banner ad. He says he doesn't feel he has to explain himself...then explains himself at length, adding rants on abortion, gays, them evil Soshullist Libruls, his religious beliefs, and a few pounds of bible quotes to add weight to his non-self-explanatory self-explanation. He also responds in Ed's comments, calling him a stalker (comment #25) and then offering us comic GOLD with #56:

[snip long-ass hit-count listing for www.politicalbyline.com]
So, there. Suck it Libtards. and Don't bother leaving comments on my blog. Because I am not approving them, at all.

Why?

Because I do not *HAVE* to, that's why.

Well, DARN.

October 21: Ed has gone from merely noticing to being amused by this charming new kook of his. He mocks better than I do. He notes that Dullard put up a new post...but apparently it was too good for the Interwebs: Patty took it down. Here's a taste:

I have been sitting here all evening, thinking about this little dust up between Ed Brayton and myself. The last time someone made the fetal mistake of veering into my "Scope" if you will. They got "The Treatment" from me. Anytime someone has ever done anything that I felt was wrong. I did this to them; I did it to someone who decided that it would be cool to write an article that said, "F**** The Troops", I did it to a well-known Conservative Commentator, who did something that I felt was objectionable. Luckily for her, it was an old address.

Fetal mistake? That's a freaking brilliant Freudian slip given the obvious immaturity on display.

I figure if Ed Brayton does not have a problem insulting Christians, Conservatives and those who disagree with his views, then he should not have a problem with someone calling his house to challenge him on his views or even possibly coming to his house to challenge him face to face. Not that I would encourage such behavior, but if it happened, I would not shed a tear.

So, here's Ed's Address and Telephone Number and a nice aerial shot of his house...:

Wrong house, though. Dullard begs for help via Twitter!

November 8: Pat weighs in on the Fort Hood shooter, claiming (Nobel Peace Prize Winner) President Obama sent the shooter in on a mission to kill people.

Note how Dullard--sorry, Dollard--calls Obama "amabO." Oooh. Creative.

November 10: Wonkette weighs in on Dullar--dammit, Dollard! I just can't get it right! Anyway, Dullard goes off via Twitter on Congressman Anh Cao of Louisiana, a Republican who voted in favor of the House version of the Health Care Reform bill, calling him a "fucking gook" and "Some of us, have not forgotten what happened on Dec 7, 1941 either!". Wonkette runs some of the Twitter traffic; Dullard is mocked in the comments, and this tidbit about him is brought up:

Pat’s personal profile from his web site:
Martial Status: Single, Never Married.

Children: None

Age: 37 (Older than dirt)

Born and Raised: Southwest Detroit, Michigan. (lived there till 1989.)

Location: In the Suburbs of Detroit, Michigan AKA Liberal-Land USA.

How long I’ve been Blogging: Officially since February of 2006

Loves and Hates:

Loves:

Classic Rock
Blues Rock
Long haired and Skinny Women
Beautiful Women
Traditional Values
American Made Products
American History
Anything from the 1940’s
Traditional Christianity (Although Orthodoxy is a bit stiff for me…)
Kind people
Down to earth people; especially women
Intelligent Conversation
Pragmatism
People that are Unique and Intriguing

Hates:
Rap
Pop Music
Short Haired Women
Fat Women
Far Lefty Liberals AKA Communists (Same Difference)
Liberal Christianity
Rich Warren and his Purpose Driven Life CRAP!
Selfish people
Snobbish people
Rich people who love thier money more than others
Paying Taxes
Paying Bills
Having A.D.H.D.
Being Overweight
Getting Older (It Sucks!)

Heh. Here's Ed's take on it. Dullard has made his Twitter feed PRIVATE now.

November 12: Brayton makes Dullard--sorry, Dollard--the subject of his running series, "Dumbass Quote of the Day".

November 13: ...and another Dumbass Quote of the Day for Dullard!

How does one get a pet kook?

Chuck Baldwin--Internment camps!!

This kook is in my neighborhood. He runs a church (Crossroad baptist), does a daily 1-hour radio show, and is a failed Presidential candidate for the "Constitution" party.

He used to be in the Red Elephant party, but back in 2000 he jumped off the sinking S.S. GOP because (get this) Fratboy and Shotgun were...TOO LIBERAL.

But just being a Red (or former Red) and espousing the standard religious-right-wing stuff (he was the director of the "Florida Moral Majority") isn't what makes him a kook.

Let's start with this: on August 11th, 2009, Baldwin ran an opinion piece, "Why are internment camps being built?" in which he claims to have SEEN such a camp during a flight over Colorado.

Baldwin follows with a breathless claim that the National Guard is "advertising" for an "Internment/Resettlement Specialist" Military Occupational Specialty (MOS), 31E:

This is an advertisement by the National Guard promoting the Military Occupational Specialty (MOS) of "Internment/Resettlement Specialist." Question: why does the National Guard need to recruit Internment/Resettlement Specialists? What do they know that we should know?

If you actually go to the page, it's obviously not an ad--it's a description of the 31E specialty. All you have to do is go to the main MOS list page on the NG site to find more "advertising" for other specialties!

OH NO!! There's a 14Z AIR DEFENSE ARTILLERY SENIOR SERGEANT!! Why would they need air defense artillery?! Are they gonna shoot airliners down?!

PANIC!! There's also the 21C BRIDGE CREWMEMBER!! Why does the National Guard need to crew our bridges?! Are they gonna blow them up to force us to drive to the camps?!

I note that they've apprantly eliminated my old MOS, 31N. Obviously there's no need for a patch panel operator in this National Guard New World Order.


Baldwin tries to bracket the doubters with this:

Then, of course, there are those who continue to deny that these internment camps exist at all. But then, were there not thousands of Germans who denied the existence of concentration camps during World War II? These types of people would refuse to believe the sun came up in the east if the government spinmeisters told them it didn't.

The old "The Germans were wrong, so you must be wrong if you disagree!" Would this count as a Godwin's Law violation?

I did a little digging around, thinking that an "internment camp" believer might also be a Teabagger, Birther, or other anti-Obama kook. At this point I'll have to call it as "not a teabagger"--at the very least he tries to distance himself from them, while preaching the same "take this country back and restore it to its christian roots" and "socialism!!!" stuff.

As long as you're looking at that page, check out the loons lined up on the sidebar. A veritable sh*tmine of wingnut paranoia.

Popcorn Kooks (defined and listed)

This is a kook who has entertainment value--not as an entertainer, but because they're so "out there."

For now, all I've got are:

Pat Dollard
"Wild" Bill Donohue
David Icke

David Icke, Uberkook?

Oh, this guy is interesting.

Like Richard Heene, Dave's into the Illuminati thing. DEEP into it. He's British, so at least he'll sound cultured and intellectual to the American ear--think of him as the anti-Christopher Hitchens.

So this guy believes that there are lizard-people amongst us. Lizard PEDOPHILES!!

George W. Bush? Yeah, I can kind of see that.
Queen Elizabeth II? Never met her.
Kris Kristofferson?!
Boxcar Willie?! *baaahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa*

Amazing. Simply...amazing.

Those Illuminati were behind September 11th, which makes him a "Truther." Granted, it still amounts to "Fratboy was EVIL!!! And he and his administration did 9-11 the way Hitler did the Reichstag, to give him an excuse to go to war!!!!1!!1!" Meh.

Icke is one of the "popcorn kooks"--get some snacks and visit PublicEye.org's selection of Icke quotes. Let's see...he doesn't seem to like the Jews (he links the Illuminati to the The Protocols of the Elders of Zion--one of those "Jews-control-everything" conspiracies)...Jews "created" WW1, WW2, and the Russian Revolution...says the Anti-Defamation League is "sinister"...Planned Parenthood was founded by the British Eugenics Society...microchips will be embedded in you, 666, number of the beast...

Wow.

All that makes his claiming to be the "son of god" seem rather tame (he later retracted). We in the States hear this claim pretty routinely from our religious loons.

'Balloon Boy's' father, Richard Heene

I heard about this guy's kookness from Skeptic's Guide to the Universe podcast #222. He buys into the "Illuminati" thing--a race of reptilian humanoids who have infiltrated leadership positions all over Earth (interesting Illuminati stuff at the link).

Says Hillary Clinton is a lizard:



We humans were genetically engineered to be their slaves.

See, I never really thought about this stuff until I stumbled over a Wikipedia entry on David Icke, who I'll write about later. I never really considered that people actually BELIEVED this stuff!

Put this into Google: "richard heene illuminati". What a resume!

Even the Freepers think he's nuts. That's saying something.

Heene used to be best-known for his stint on "Wife Swap"...until he perpretrated a hoax involving his 6-year-old son Falcon (FALCON?! Seriously?) being trapped in a UFO-shaped balloon. This was apparently intended as a publicity stunt: Heene wanted to start up a reality show, which was pitched to the TLC cable channel. According to Robert Thomas (see below) this was to be MythBusters-meets-mad-scientist.

He turned himself in today (Nov. 12, 2009); he faces up to 90 days in jail for his stunt.

UPDATE: On November 13th Heene and wife Mayumi put in guilty pleas. They're not expected to get much time in jail. The main reason for the plea-bargain was to keep Mayumi from being deported.

More update (Nov. 14, 2009): In this Gawker interview from the Saturday after Heene's balloon went up, Robert Thomas explained how he and Heene had been planning a balloon publicity stunt to garner more attention. He became aware of Heene via his 6-part YouTube series called "Psyence Detectives".

Heene's "Psyence Detectives" website is apparently down. I bet the Illuminati did it to silence him!

Even more update (Nov. 14, 2009): Heene was trying to raise money to build himself a shelter to protect himself from the explosion of the sun in 2012. Apparently he doesn't realize that an exploding sun would destroy Earth and him with it; but the sun doesn't have enough mass to explode--it'll burn all its hydrogen in a few billion years, then start fusing the helium it's been making from hydrogen all this time, expanding into a red giant. Earth will be a cinder then. Heene and the other 2012'ers are a few billion years too soon.

Other stuff he believes:
--The "doomsday" Svalbard Global Seed Vault partially funded by Bill Gates and the Rockefellers: they know something big is going to happen (but...if the sun explodes, Earth will be a cinder, and the seeds will be, too).

--He says there are more than 800 "concentration camps" in the US. I wonder if he listens to Chuck Baldwin?

--He worries about an imagined currency--the "Amero"--that will bring the economies of the US, Mexico and Canada together. Why would anyone do that unless the world was gonna end?

Holocaust Deniers list

Last Update: Nov. 8, 2009
(List is based on Wikipedia "Conspiracy Theorists" category)


Abrahamowicz, Florian
Ahmadinejad, Mahmoud
Akef, Mohammed Mahdi
al-Rantissi, Abdel Aziz
Amaudruz, Gaston-Armand
App, Austin
Autant-Lara, Claude
Bardèche, Maurice
Barnes, Harry Elmer
Bennett, John Tuson
Berger, Jim
Butz, Arthur
Carto, Willis
Ceresole, Norberto
Christophersen, Thies
Collins, Doug Journalist
Covington, Harold
de Pellepoix, Louis Darquier
Deckert, Günter
Degrelle, Léon
Devi, Savitri
Donaldson, Ian Stuart
Duke, David
Duprat, François
Edmonds, Richard
Faurisson, Robert
Fischer, Bobby
Gibson, Hutton Melvin's old man
Griffin, Nick
Gudenus, John
Guionnet, Alain
Günther, Hans F. K.
Hancock, Anthony Publisher
Herrmann, Hajo
Hilaly, Taj El-Din
Hoffman, Michael A. II
Hoffmann, Joachim
Hoggan, David
Honsik, Gerd
Irving, David "historian"
Jordan, Colin
Keegstra, James
Klassen, Ben
Kollerstrom, Nicholas
Krege, Richard
Lane, David Lane white nationalist
Leuchter, Fred A.
Linder, Alex
Lowell, Norman
Mahler, Horst
Martin, James J.
Mattogno, Carlo
McCalden, David
Muhammad, Khalid Abdul
Myatt, Abdul-Aziz ibn
Oktar, Adnan
Platonov, Oleg
Poulet, Robert
Pressac, Jean-Claude
Provan, Charles D.
Quinn, Kevin
Raes, Roeland
Ramin, Mohammad-Ali
Ramir, Ahmed Writer
Rassinier, Paul
Ratajczak, Dariusz
Remer, Otto Ernst
Renouf, Michèle
Rieger, Jürgen
Robb, Thomas
Rockwell, George Lincoln
Roeder, Manfred
Ross, Malcolm school teacher
Rudolf, Germar
Schaub, Bernhard
Serrano, Miguel
Shchokin, Georgy
Sheppard, Simon activist
Smith, Gerald L. K.
Stäglich, Wilhelm
Taheri, Mohammed
Thion, Serge
Thompson, H. Keith
Töben, Gerald Fredrick
Turner, Hal
Verbeke, Siegfried
Verrall, Richard
Walendy, Udo
White, Bill neo-Nazi
Williamson, Richard bishop
Zuhri, Sami Abu
Zündel, Ernst

A List of Moonies

Last Update: Nov. 8, 2009

Def, Mos: rappist; actor

Goldberg, Whoopie: Actor; was impressed by the "waving flag"; compares 9-11 Truthers to Holocaust deniers

Hoagland, Richard: Conspiracy "theorist"; says JFK assassinated by NASA because he was going to share rocket tech with Reds.

Hufschmid, Eric
Kaysing, Bill
Rene, Ralph
Rogan, Joe: TV Host ('Fear Factor'); comedian
Sibrel, Bart: Punched by Buzz "Haymaker" Aldrin

"Wild" Bill Donohue: "2012" Doesn't kill enough Muslims!

Yeah, Wild Bill is screeching about a movie that won't even be out for another week. He can accept that the Vatican and the Giant Jesus down in Rio will be destroyed, since those Christ-hatin' Hollyweirders are free to bash and ridicule God's Own Religion with impunity.

Wild Bill doesn't like that the Religion of Peace is under-represented in this John Cusack vehicle. Director Roland Emmerich admits that he didn't depict such things as the destruction of a holy statue in the Grand Mosque in Mecca because he's afraid of the sort of batshit-crazy people who went batshit-crazy over cartoons.

Wild Bill disagrees. It's not because Emmerich is afraid of Muslims wigging out and calling for blood! Nope. It's because Emmerich just hates them Catholics, because they're so peace-loving and just want to be left alone!

Wild Bill doesn't mention that he himself went batshit over a cracker. The big difference between Wild Bill and those Muslims who went batshit over cartoons? Wild Bill's people don't try to blow you up.

Bart Sibrel--Bio

Bart Sibrel is probably the coolest moon-hoaxer ever!!

Well, not because of his accomplishments. He calls himself a "filmmaker," and I suppose we can give him that--but 2001's "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Moon," which he wrote, directed, produced, and edited, is the only one that shows at IMDb. Obviously, those IMDb people are part of a CONSPIRACY against Bart, for he also did 2004's "Astronauts Gone Wild."

Funny quote from that last link: "On July 20, 1969, according to NASA, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin landed on the Moon."

Oh, and he appeared as "Himself" in 2001's "Conspiracy Theory: Did We Land on the Moon?". This is the show that keeps popping up on Fox.

Nah. That's not why he's cool.

Remember the guy who got himself punched after harrassing astronaut Buzz Aldrin?



That was Bart.

See, he was following Apollo astronauts around, trying to get them to swear on a holy book that they hadn't faked the moon landings. In September 2002, he cornered Aldrin, finally calling him "a coward and a liar and a thief..."

WHOMP!

Bart has since apologized for provoking Aldrin.

Here's Phil Plait's take on Bart, over at Bad Astronomy.

And here's Jay Windley at Clavius.org, debunking Bart's Top 15.

Other than the entertainment value, Bart's a cipher.

"Wild" Bill Donohue--Biography

Wild Bill likes to get wrought-up about stuff. He's the Catholic version of Glenn Beck! If there's something he can have hysterics over, and rattle and rail against, Wild Bill is on it.

So who is this kook, this leader of men at the Catholic League? Well, he was born in New York City, got a Doctorate in Sociology (New York University), and is divorced with two--wait, WHAT?! Divorced?!

He clutches his pearls and fans himself over gay marriage [source: Tips-Q] and how it'll destroy the family and all that, but couldn't keep one together himself?

If only there were a word in English to express the concept of "do-as-I-say, not-as-I-do."

So anyway, Wild Bill is vocal--well, maybe "shrill" is a better word--in his opposition to all kinds of evil stuff, such as the ACLU, abortion, gay marriage, the yearly "War on Xmas" and pretty much everything it's trendy for conservatives to screech about. He whined about Kevin Smith's "Dogma," but couldn't suck up enough to Mel "Sugartits" Gibson over "The Passion of the Christ."

Predictably, he spins the rape and molestation of little kids by Catholic clergy into an anti-gay (rather than anti-pedophile) harrangue.

This kind of kook isn't dangerous like the anti-vaxxers; indeed, Wild Bill is what we at Kook Clearinghouse call a "Popcorn kook"--break out the kettlecorn and watch him dance!

[Updated Nov. 30, 2009--added the picture; my first PhotoShop face-swap!]

Hero #01: Derek Bartholomaus (JennyMcCarthyBodyCount.com)

Wanna keep track of the preventable illnesses and the preventable deaths that can be laid at Typhoid Jenny's feet?

Here!

Jenny McCarthy Body Count

Don't want to go to a Web site? Okay. There's video, too!



Derek Bartholomaus becomes the first Hero on the Kook Clearinghouse!

"Typhoid" Jenny McCarthy--Bio

Born in Chicago on November 1, 1972. The main thing she used to be remembered for seems to be her Playboy spread in October of 1993 (and the attendant breast implants), but she's also credited as an actress, comedian, author and model [source: Wikipedia]. Amazingly enough, I've never seen any of this.

Her new career has made her the public face of anti-vaccination activism after her claims that a Measles-Mumps-Rubella (MMR) vaccination at 15 months caused autism in her son. But before that, she claimed she was an "indigo mom" and her kid was a "crystal"--some sort of New-Agey woo that amounts to trying to spin an ordinary kid with ADHD into someone very special--maybe with psychic abilities! Sheesh. Is there a website about her experience? Why yes. Yes, there is. Bring your hip waders--she shovels it pretty deep, here.

I consider the anti-vaxxers to be the most dangerous of the kooks, since they generate a body-count. Every time they convince another parent to forego vaccination, a child runs the risk of dying.

Needlessly.

I'd try to make fun of her, but the "indigo" stuff...how the hell do I top that?

Truthers list

Last Update: Aug. 27, 2010

And now, a short list of 9/11 "truthers"--people who claim that the events of September 11, 2001 were an inside job to whatever degree.

As, Berit
Asner, Ed [Actor]
Baker, Ace
Barrett, Kevin
Begley, Ed Jr. [Actor]
Belafonte, Harry [Singer, actor]
Bellamy, Matthew
Berg, Philip J.
Bergeron, Richard
Bermas, Jason
Bigard, Jean-Marie
Binoche, Juliette
Boutin, Christine
Breitweiser, Kristen
Brockers, Mathias
Brolan, James [Actor]
Brouillet, Carol
Casazza, Patty
Chiesa, Giulietto
Cho, Margaret [comedienne]
Cotillard, Marion [Actor]
Cuccurullo, Warren
Def, Mos [rappist; actor]
DeLonge, Tom [singer, Blink 182--not part of band anymore?]
Dice, Mark
Eminem [rappist]
Falk, Richard A.
Fetzer, James H.
Fo, Dario
Fujita, Yukihisa
Garofalo, Janeane [Actor, activist]--needs corroboration
Green, Seth [Actor]--needs corroboration, but doubtful
Griffin, David Ray
Hamid, Zaid
Harrelson, Woody [Actor]
Hicks, Sander
Hoffman, Jim

Icke, David: [Writer; conspiracy "theorist"; actually believes in the Illuminati--reptilian humanoids that "run everything"; says Boxcar Willie is one!]

Jones, Alex [Conspiracy "theorist"]
Jones, Steven E.
Jong, Erica
Lewis, William [Director]
Lynch, David [Director, "Blue Velvet"; Producer, Writer]
McGruder, Aaron ['Boondocks' comic]
Machon, Annie
Marrs, Jim
McKinney, Cynthia [Politician--D-GA (former congress)]
McMurtry, John
Meyssan, Thierry
Moore, Michael [movie-maker]
Nelson, Willie [singer/songwriter; actor]
O'Donnell, Rosie [Actor]
Orr, Daniel
Pratt, Heidi [Famous for being famous]
Pratt, Spencer [famous for being famous?]
Rense, Jeff
Reynolds, Morgan
Rivero, Mike [Radio host; hangs with Jones, Alex]
Roberts, Paul Craig
Rodriguez, William
Russo, Aaron
Scott, Peter Dale
Shayler, David
Sheen, Charlie [Actor]
Sheen, Martin [Actor]
Stone, Sharon [Actor]
Stubblebine, Albert
Sunjata, Daniel
Tarpley, Webster
Van Auken, Lorie
Ventura, Jesse [Actor; former governor of Minnesota]
von Bulow, Andreas
von Kleist, David
Walter, Jimmy
Zwicker, Barrie

InfoWars.net Site--Alex Jones; conspiracies
PrisonPlanet.com Site--Alex Jones; conspiracies


Seems to be a somewhat leftie swing here. Just sayin'.

There's a video compilation over at YouTube in which some of these fine entertainers show us why they are better than engineers at describing what happened on September 11th.

Religidiots List

Last Update: Nov. 8, 2009

(Note: As each of the longer entries gets a post of its own, the list will become just a list of names and organizations)

Anderson, Steven: Preacher who prays for Obama's death
Bachmann, Michele: Politician--Congress, R-MN

Baldwin, Chuck ("preacher"; failed presidential contender; dominionist)--buys into the "Obama internment camps" crap. Source: Renew America--his article, "Why are internment camps being built?" He dishonestly claimed on his massive church sign that a man was "thrown in jail for praying"--but the truth of it is that the man was part of the Santa Rosa County (Florida--go figure, huh?) school system and was ignoring a judge's instruction to stop leading students in prayer. There's plenty of crazy at that site in the link--shut off your irony meters, grab your tinfoil hats, and put down your drink--you don't want to snarf on your keyboard.

Boone, Pat: "musician"
Bozell, Brent L. III: Media Research Center; Catholic League
Braughton, Christopher: brought gun town hall meeting; member Anderson's church
Bryant, Anita: "actor"; anti-gay
Bush, George H.W.: failed president
Bush, George W.: failed president; war criminal
Cameron, Kirk: Actor; creationist; thinks banana proof of god
Cass, Gary: Christian Anti-Defamation Commission
Comfort, Ray: creationist; pals with Cameron, Kirk
Corgan, Billy: Singer, Smashing Pumpkins; anti-vaxxer

Daniels, Kimberly ("preacher"); she wrote a column for Pat Robertson's CBC (10/29/2009) warning of demon-possessed Halloween candy. Source: Americans United for Separation of Church & State. Likes to travel around from speaking engagement to speaking engagement in a big-ass bus called the "Demon Buster." Thinks all that stuff is real.

Donohue, Bill: Mouthpiece--Catholic League
Dunbar, Cynthia: Politician--TX; rabid creationist; wants to demolish Texas school system
Falwell, Jerry: Preacher (deceased)
Frist, Bill: Quack; Retired politician
Gibson, Mel: Actor
Hatch, Orrin: Politician
Hovind, Eric: Preacher
Hovind, Kent: Preacher; Dinosaur Adventure Land
Keyes, Allen (Alan?): Failed politician
Moore, Roy: Failed judge; ten commandments douche
Norris, Chuck: "actor"; wild-eyed fundie
Palin, Sarah: failed VP candidate
Pratt, Heidi: Famous for being famous
Prejean, Carrie: failed beauty queen

Robertson, Pat ("preacher"; failed presidential contender)--there are many. Most recently (10/29/09), he screeched about President Obama signing into law hate-crimes legislation to protect the GLBT community from people like Robertson--because he and his buddies should be able to freely beat up gays and trannies!

Santorum, Rick: Failed politician; name is now synonymous with byproduct of anal sex.

Sheppard, Sherrie (of "The View")--she doesn't know that the Earth is round--"never thought about it":



...and claims that Jesus is older than anything else.



Fortunately, all it takes is a caveman:



Stein, Ben: Mouthpiece
Terry, Randall: Terrorist; rabidly anti-abortion
Wildmon, Donald: Mouthpiece


Organizations:
American Family Association
Operation Rescue--anti-abortion
Catholic League--Bill Donohoue
Parents' Television Council--Brent Bozell
Westboro Baptist Church--Fred Phelps
Islamic Thinkers Society of New York, The--Fundie Muslims; death to America
Christian Anti-Defamation Commission--Gary Cass
Dinosaur Creation Land--Hovind

"News" Outlets:
Christian Broadcast Corp--Pat Robertson
One News Now
WorldNetDaily
Newsbusters--Brent Bozell
CNS News--Brent Bozell (right-wing 'news')
Media Research Center--Brent Bozell; parent of CNS News

Quacks List

Last Update: Nov. 8, 2009

Clark, Hulda (quack; deceased)--wrote books claiming to be able to cure all cancers. Died of cancer September 3, 2009. [Source: QuackWatch.com] She claimed that the liver fluke was responsible for just about every big-name disease (you get the AIDS if the worm gets your thymus gland!)

Null, Gary ("health & fitness guru")--anti-vaccination, anti-pharmaceuticals industry, anti-medical and all that. Likes to claim that various cures for diseases are being suppressed by the medical and pharmaceutical industries because "they" can't have people getting well by using alternative medicine. [Source: QuackWatch.com] Ignores the fact that if there's money to be made, the pharma guys will hit it, and a cure for cancer would make for big big big money.

Wakefield, Andrew: Quack; no med license

Anti-Vaxxers List

Last Update: Nov. 8, 2009

Anti-vaccination kooks (links go to source info):

Carrey, Jim--Actor
Corgan, Billy--Singer, Smashing Pumpkins
Handley, J. B.--founder, Generation Rescue
Imus, Don--Mouthpiece
Kennedy, Robert F. Jr.
Mahar, Bill--Comedian, mouthpiece
McCarthy, Jenny (Playboy model; "actress")--Mouthpiece, Generation Rescue
Null, Gary ("health and fitness guru" [i.e., 'quack']); source: QuackWatch.org
Spiner, Brent (actor); source: Respectful Insolence blog
Wakefield, Andrew Quack; no med license

Blogs & Organizations
Age of Autism: Blog--JB Handley
Generation Rescue: Organization--Anti-vax
Thoughtful House: Organization--Anti-vax

Welcome to the Kook Clearinghouse!

Well, everyone but the kooks are welcome.

Let's think of this as a zoo, wherein the kooks are on display in all their breathtaking stupidity.

SEE!! Orly Taitz, the mother of all "birthers," part-dentist, part-lawyer, all crazy!

SEE!!! "Typhoid" Jenny McCarthy and her mate, Jim Carrey, who claim that her kid's autism was caused by vaccination!

SEE!!! Oprah Winfrey, who facilitates Typhoid Jenny and her anti-vaxxer menagerie!

SEE!!!! Rosie O'Donnell, who apparently watched the "Loose Chanj" video and convinced herself that their "points" are all valid. "There's no way that heat could MELT STEEEEL!!"

All coming soon!