The First Rule of Fight Ministry...

...is to beat the hell out of each other to show how much ya luuuuurve Juh-HEEEzus!

See, that doesn't scan the way the Fight Club rules do. Too clumsy, like all the other attempts by religidiots to break into mainstream stuff so that they, too, will seem cool and edgy. Think "hard rock"...then think "Creed."

Metal? Stryper.

They've even tried the Death Metal scene, for fark's sake.

They could suck the cool out of a glacier. That's what's causing Global Warming!

Now, old Jimmy "Fun Lovin' " Dobson's son Ryan and others are running Extreme Martial Arts clubs in parallel with the more mundane religion schtick. They say it's intended to inject "machismo" into the apparently otherwise girly-man church scene. They're using it for outreach.

Gives me a mental image of some hard-core pricks roughing people up: "Hey. Come to my church or I'll kick your effin' ass."

I guess it'd be a logical step up from what the preacher wannabe's from Pensacola Christian College do, hanging out in front of the gay clubs downtown in search of...er...converts.

How to Smack a Fundie Kook

Make a movie about him like Chris Rodda has.

The fundie kook in question is David Barton, a wingnut asshat who claims America is a "Christian Nation (tm)" and calls for a "return" to the fundamentalism of the Founding Fathers.

Rodda gave the revisionist a copy of his book, Liars For Jesus: The Religious Right's Alternate Version of American History (awesome title!); Barton went on his own radio show and lied about Rodda and the encounter.

Yeah, I know it's unbelieveable--a lying rightie?! GTFOH!

Plenty of GOPtards have hitched themselves to Barton's wagon; Bobby "No, I'm not running for President" Jindal (the governor of Louisiana), Michelle "Crazy Eyes" Bachmann (Minnesota) and Newt "You go with the wife you want, not with the wife you have" Gingrich are just a few such goofballs who need to be booted and banned from ever holding public office again.

Chris Rodda's got the story and installments of his movie at the link above.

David Icke, Uberkook (pt. 2)

Sorry, Kook Fans, for neglecting this blog--but if kookdom is a cesspool of anti-intellectualism, my attempts amount to using a little beach shovel to take samples.

Had to put this up, though, because David Icke's name came up in a quick Google search I was doing. I put "Boxcar Willie reptillian" in and let fly.

This was the first link to come up: LIST OF FAMOUS SATANISTS, PEDOPHILES, AND MIND CONTROLLERS by David Icke. The site itself has some kook promise--and though the page itself is about 10 years out of date, it's still good for a laugh:

William F. Buckley Jr: Head of the elite JANUS mind control operation based at NATO headquarters in Belgium which trains mind-controlled psychic assassins; child killer, Satanist, shape-shifter

George Bush: US President and Vice President, head of the CIA, and a stream of other leading roles in the Illuminati. Satanist, mind controller, torturer of children and adults, pedophile, shape-shifting reptilian, and major drug runner. Serial killer. Nice man.

George W. Bush, Jr. - front-runner to be next President of the United States. Son of his father.

Henry Kissinger, former Secretary of State under Richard Nixon, and one of the Illuminati's foremost master minds of the agenda. Satanist, mind controller, child torturer, creator of wars of mass murder and destruction. Shape-shifter. Works closely with the UK's Lord Carrington.

Dick Cheney, Defense Secretary under President Bush. Satanist, torturer of children and adults. Mind controller.

Boxcar Willie, country music singer. Satanist, pedophile.

Bob Hope "comedian". Life-time asset of British Intelligence, mind-controlled slave handler, and manipulator of the "entertainment industry" on behalf of the Illuminati. The "Rat Pack", including Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Junior, and Dean Martin were all heavily involved with Hope and others in the same line of work.

Billy Graham, "Christian" hero who has been funded from the start by the top Illuminati families and operatives like the Rockefellers and newspaper tycoon, William Randolph Hearst. Satanist, involved in mind control projects, close friend of Bush and Kissinger. Bloodline of the Satanic Illuminati Frank family which created the Satanic movement known as Frankism.

Adolf Hitler, Nazi leader in Germany. Rothschild bloodline. Satanist.

There were more, but these are the good ones. And who the hell knew that Fratboy was the son of his father?

Are they done striking yet?

Back on January 20--the first anniversary of Nobel Peace Prize Winner President Obama's inauguration--all the teabaggers in the world were supposed to go on strike, intending to demolish all the Democrat-supporting companies, crushing them, rending them, and standing in front of their shops with poorly-spelled protest signs.

Yes, McDonald's, Burger King, and Taco Bell would be brought to their knees, deprived of their nighttime cleanup crews.

Wal-Mart would grind to a halt, sans greeters.

Drivers across the nation would briefly breathe easier, without a bunch of stupid blue-hairs and old farts holding things up in the passing lane or pulling into traffic without looking where they're going.


So what happened?

Nothing. Not a damn thing:

Now that the day of the strike has come, the tea partiers are nowhere to be seen. The website devoted to the project is full of questions from confused would-be strikers, and the organizer of the protest has disconnected his phone.

I spent the day dodging geriatric conservative morons just like always. Normally the 'baggers congregate in front of the local ABC-TV affiliate studios, since that's about the only way to get TeeVee coverage of their otherwise pathetic bids for attention.

Oh, well. There's always April 15th--that's the teabaggers' Halloween.

Followup: Birthers at Work!

Back on Nov. 20, 2009, we copied a Birther email in which the author claimed that on Jan. 26, 2010, there was going to be an "expedited trial" to determine Nobel Peace Prize Winner President Obama's eligability to hold the presidency.

Color us amazed: no trial occurred.

We knew it wouldn't, anyway, given that they were claiming that Judge David Carter was blah blah blah, when a simple Google hunt turned up a Snopes page quoting him saying the opposite of everything they claimed.

That Black Man is still in the White House! Spiffy.