Saturday, May 17, 2014


It is a dark time for the Republic. Although the NSA drone program has been destroyed, OAS troops have driven the Black President from his hidden base and pursued him across the city.

Evading the dreaded Hoveround Fleet, a group of freedom fighters led by General "Handsome" Joe Biden have established a new secret base in the Air and Space Museum.

The evil lord Darrel Issa, obsessed with finding Handsome Joe, has dispatched thousands of Teabillies into the far reaches of Washington, D.C. ....

Poor, poor two-term very popular Nobel Peace Prize Winner President Barack H. Obama. All he did was save General Motors, kill Osama bin Laden, get millions of people affordable health insurance, increase infrastructure spending, make a deal with Swiss banks to gain access to the records of tax cheats and criminals, establish the Consumer Protection Financial Bureau, sign an improved food safety law, helped kill "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," sign the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, expand funding for the Violence Against Women act, reverse his predecessor's horrendous torture policies, try to close the Gitmo prison (only to be stopped by Republicans and some turncoat Democrats), work to improve relations with Iran's government and encourage them to stop their nuke program, bring the troops home from Iraq, ban gifts to the Executive Branch from lobbyists, piss off every whiny Republican by being a badass and not getting into scandals (which they find scandalous!), everything else on this list here, and probably some other stuff since then.

Also, he pisses Republicans off just by being the Black Guy in the White House. They hate that soooo very much, they cry the purest, sweetest, tears of impotent rage. That shit tastes awesome with a twist of lemon.

And now...the raging horde of Operation American Spring has run President Obama out of town for the second time in a week. Ejected yet again from the White House, the poor guy has holed up in Gainesville, Virginia, at an elite invitation-only golf course instead of his regular digs on the links at Edwards Air Force Base or Fort Belvoir.

Man can't catch a break, but that's the revolution.

So, this was the second day of "Operation American Spring," which was billed as an enormous influx of millions of furious racist assholes, ignorant Teabaggers, conspiracy whackos, fundie screechers, demagoguing wingnuts, and seditious militiamen, all with Rambo complexes and daddy issues PATRIOTS!!! coming to overthrow the evil gummint they depend on for everything in their day-to-day lives.

Basically, it's been the "Made In China" Family Dollar store brand version of Occupy Wall Street with online circle-jerks instead of drum circles.

The OAS goobers have shifted from cheerleading their so-called revolution to making excuses for it, blaming Friday's early-morning rains, blaming the government for "hacking" their Twitter hashtag (bwahahahahaha!!), claiming that the whole thing had been a "false flag" operation set up by that EVIL!!!! Obama to make them look stupid, claiming that those of us mocking them were all government shills, bought and paid for.

Some of the devout took it really hard, making death threats and such when prodded.

One of the best excuses? "Us conservative folks have JOBS and can't just take the day off!" Really? You want to overthrow the government, but can't take vacation time for it?

I think I get it. Instead of that enormous influx of millions all at once, they're gonna do it a few at a time. Guerilla-style infiltration. By the end of the year, several million of them will have been to D.C.! Uh, guys? You kind of have to be there all at once, or you're just pissy, low-tipping asshole tourists, and D.C. deals with them all year round. Smithsonian's nice this time of year.

The #OperationAmericanSpring hashtag wasn't nearly as hot on Day 2. I didn't lurk on it for more than a couple of hours, myself.

...some Twitter feed:

12:50p (I slept in) [much less traffic in the #OAS thread today]

Republican Swine ?@RepublicanSwine 1h
#OperationAmericanSpring You're winded talking into a Microphone but you think you'll win a Fire-Fight with Govt.


Top Conservative Cat @TeaPartyCat
#OperationAmericanSpring demands:
12. No gay kissing on ESPN.
13. No garnishing wages for child support.

Rest here:

Joy Reid ?@JoyAnnReid 18h
Wow... #tcot is awfully quiet about #OperationAmericanSpring ... where be the patriots and Breitbart's ghost avis?

Bearded Stoner ?@beardedstoner 23h
Hard to buy your claim that liberty is dying as you freely assemble in the name of insurrection.


Trill, Baby, Trill ?@eclecticbrotha 23h
I feel for all the spouses, girlfriends and children who'll be abused tonight by the humiliated attendees of

Shoq ?@Shoq May 16
#OperationAmericanSpring was a false flag by the Obama administration to distract from the Benghazi scandal. It worked!

maria lia calvo ?@MariaLiaCalvo May 16
how did these people get to DC? via the highways maintained by the federal government they want to overthrow?


Shoq ?@Shoq May 16
"I Went To #OperationAmericanSpring And All I Found Was This Crappy Hashtag."

Matty Ice ?@MattyIceAZ May 16
Look, give #OperationAmericanSpring a break. Moving from Cliven Bundy's ranch to DC takes some time in old pick up trucks.

Imani ABL ?@AngryBlackLady May 16
"we smoke meth together." RT @wirecan: 'We stand together, we hang together.' #OperationAmericanSpring #Benghazi

Robbie Sherwood ?@RobbieSherwood May 16
#OperationAmericanSpring, or as America will remember it, "Friday."

F--- Tea Terrorists ?@ProgressiveYoda May 16
The first live image of #OperationAmericanSpring is in... and DC area Walmart declares record white sale @KC52inNC

Gen JC Xtian patriot ?@JC_Christian May 16
We'll return to ousting the OBAMUNIST USURPER and changing America forever once the rain has stopped


A 99er ?@HelpThe99ers May 16
Attention #OperationAmericanSpring: today's meeting, "Irons or Woods: Can Agenda 21 Lower Your Handicap?" has been moved to the Ballroom

A 99er ?@HelpThe99ers May 16
Attention, #OperationAmericanSpring: the 9:00 AM seminar, "FEMA Vans, UPS Vans - Know The Difference" has been moved indoors due to weather.

Jeff Fecke ?@jkfecke May 16
The folks behind #OperationAmericanSpring would like to note that there are over 300 million Americans occupying America. #murica

Gen JC Xtian patriot ?@JC_Christian May 16
It may look like there are less than a dozen of us, but that's because thev2 million others are wearing camo


Oliver Willis ?@owillis May 16
did obama resign yet? #OperationAmericanSpring

Very Serious People™ ?@TheXclass May 16
The flabby militia has arrived from Nevada to take their country back. #OperationAmericanSpring

pizzmoe ?@pizzmoe May 16
Stars, Stripes, Beer Guts, Oh,My! #OperationAmericanSpring

pizzmoe ?@pizzmoe May 16
There will be a lot of Morans.#OperationAmericanSpring #americanspring

Chuck Nellis ?@ChuckNellis May 15
I'm praying for peace & success! :) * #OperationAmericanSpring to hit D.C. to oust Obama, Biden, Boehner, Holder.

[ah, wishful thinking...]

Jeff Fecke ?@jkfecke May 15
I'm sure 30 million people will show up for #operationamericanspring. Wait, sorry - 30. 30 people.

Nacho Libtard ?@reedequalswin May 15
Pig Pen, this here's Rubber Duck, looks like we got ourselves a god damned convoy! #OperationAmericanSpring #teatards

Gadsden Flag Snake ?@GadsdenSnake May 14
Because the problem isn't the oligarchy of billionaires - It's the black guy who wants us to get health care...


Nacho Libtard ?@reedequalswin May 14
Gearing up for #OperationAmericanSpring! they'll never see us coming as we've kept it on the downlow of the interwebs

Danger ?@GunGrabCzar May 14
#OperationAmericanSpring has a right to do whatever it is that they're going to do. Just like everyone else has a right to mock them.

Support And Defend ?@SupportAnDefend May 12
Walk the Talk #OperationAmericanSpring

reasons why to join the voices and stop the tyranny against We the People #OperationAmericanSpring #PJNET

Cause of Liberty † ?@CauseOfLiberty May 11
Follow Iceland with the Iceland Solution & #AbolishTheFederalReserve -------> 


We Hate America ?@WeHateAmerica_ May 11
Good morning Patriots! & to you DOUCHEBAGS at #NSA Monitor THIS! Sincerely #WeThePeople #OperationAmericanSpring

GySgt. Chip Webber ?@yankepatriot May 11


riteprices ?@riteprices May 11
#OperationAmericanSpring #OAS2014 … U coming to DC May16th, 2014? If so, see you there,

If not, Why not?
[29,999,900 people have some explaining to do...]

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