Countdown!

Old Harry "World's Gonna End Really Really Really Really Really Really Soon Now" Camping has announced on his website that October 21, 2011 is Really Really Really Really Really Really The End This Time:

"Thus we can be sure that the whole world, with the exception of those who are presently saved (the elect), are under the judgment of God, and will be annihilated together with the whole physical world on October 21, 2011, on the last day of the present five months period. On that day the true believers (the elect) will be raptured. We must remember that only God knows who His elect are that He saved prior to May 21"

Get your toothbrush and whatever. He's gotta be right this time! We're sure that his May 21, 2011 mistake prediction was just a warmup!

How can Family Radio be so bold as to declare a date for Christ's return?

Given the overwhelming biblical evidence, the Family Stations, Inc. Board of Directors made a determination to dedicate all available resources to proclaim the warning of May 21, 2011. God has prepared Family Radio for this important time in history. Given the population of the world, radio and the internet are the perfect vehicles to deliver this warning.

Go read his site before The End! It's Really Really Really Really Really Really For Real This Time!!


UPDATE: Camping retired from his gig at Family Radio on October 16th (spotted by Slatts in alt.atheism):

(From his Wikipedia page) "Camping officially retired from his position at Family Radio as of October 16, 2011, only days before his last predicted date for the end of the world. Camping reportedly admitted in a private interview that he no longer believed that anybody could know the time of the Rapture or the end of the world, in stark contrast to his previously staunch position on the subject."

Image:
http://i.imgur.com/AXySX.png

It goes without saying that we're still here, ready to make fun of the next Doomsayer.

Put Pat Robertson in a Home, Already.

Terminally insane brain-dead dirtbag, failed Presidential candidate and fundie Pat Robertson has never been one to keep his gnarly cloven hooves out of his pie-hole for very long.

Now, Satan's Nutsack says it's fine to divorce your Alzheimer's-afflicted spouse if they're too far gone (they won't remember anyway, right?), whatever that means.



Unlike demented, decrepit rat bastard Ron Paul and his slavering "Let 'Em Die" Libertarian fanboys, we think old Pat's family should bundle him up and relocate him to a peaceful retirement facility in the Virginia Beach area.

Or--given his condition--he might be "too far gone" himself and he can spend his waning days in hospice, where he can look the families of Alzheimer's patients in the eye and tell them it's okay to just leave Gramps, because he's too far gone and won't notice.

Congratulations, Pat--we didn't have an "Evil" tag yet, but you're the first kook to earn one. Way to give Rick "Goodhair" Perry and Ron "Let 'Em Die" Paul a run for the most batshit, evil right-winger in the country!

Teabaggers are Scum.

Just when we think the teabaggers couldn't get any lower, they dig the damn hole deeper.



If you're uninsured and get sick, die quickly. It's the teabagger way, like letting a man's house burn down for not paying a $75 fee.

These people stand in the way of progress for this country. They're working to destroy the very things that give us the standard of living that keeps America from being a third-world country.

It's long past time that the rest of us made them stop digging that hole any deeper; they can stay in it. We should fill it in and move on.

[Update: Added "Evil" tag. Thanks to Pat Robertson!]

Bachmann's an Idiot. And a flake. A flaky idiot.

Par for the Republican course, it seems. Michele Bachmann is well-known for coming out with stupid--or dishonest--or both--things to say whenever there's a camera lurking around, but I think she's topped herself.

Whaaaaat? She topped her claim that the Shot Heard Round the World happened in New Hampshire?

Okay, this one's a close second to that.

Whaaaaaaaat?! She topped her claim that the Founding Fathers worked tirelessly to end slavery, and that John Quincy Adams was one of them?

Dammit! See, there's so much batshit with this wingnut that it's getting really hard to assess her kookness in terms of a top-ten.

She invoked the name of conservative magnet John Wayne and (not for the first time) linked him to Waterloo, Iowa.

She picked the wrong clown. She's actually talking about kid-killer John Wayne...Gacy, the Killer Clown. We wonder if she knows the difference between them. If Gacy was a Republican, she'd probably sing his praises, 33 murders notwithstanding.

She's since admitted to not being perfect, but stands by her stupidity, and that's why she's the new Republican Stupid Queen. Stand aside, Palin, you amateur. There's a new conservative cutie-pie on the stage with a flaky crust and an incredible batshit center!

Best thing I've seen said about her, from Bill Mahar: "Michele Bachmann! For People Who Find Sarah Palin Too Intellectual."

Visiting Dignitary Disappointed by Lack of Crawfish

He must be a "visiting dignitary" because--according to him and his fellow "sovereign citizens"--he's not an American citizen, and not subject to our laws:

From Talking Points Memo:

A 'sovereign citizen' in Pensacola, Florida allegedly opened fire at a
seafood market after learning that they had run out of crawfish.

42 year-old Larry Wayne Kelly allegedly fired upon the L&T Seafood Market with an AK-47 from the window of his pickup truck, after he was told they had sold out of crawfish on Sunday.

Travis Griggs of the Pensacola News Journal reports:

Kelly allegedly called the seafood market to order crawfish and became "incredibly irate" when an employee said the store didn't have any, according to a Sheriff's Office report.

From 4:50 p.m. to 5:20 p.m., Kelly called the market 11 times, according to the business' caller ID. The later calls went unanswered because the business closed at 5 p.m., investigators said.

Employees found 11 bullet holes in the front of the store the next morning.

When law enforcement tracked him down and tried to arrest him on foot, Kelly allegedly attempted to hit them with his car.

According to the Sheriffs Department, four loaded guns were found in Kelly's car, including a 12-gauge shotgun, a pistol, and a revolver. The book "The Sociopath Next Door" was also found. Kelly told law enforcement that he is a sovereign citizen (someone who believes that almost all forms of government in the U.S. are illegitimate), and that he doesn't have to follow the law.

Griggs reports that Kelly was charged with "fleeing police, aggravated assault and weapons violations," but was soon released on a $32,000 bond Monday. He was then arrested again on the same day and charged with "firing at a building, firing from a vehicle and criminal mischief."

As of Wednesday, Kelly was being held on a $575,000 bond.

Store owner Tommy Nguyen told the News Journal he had sold out of crawfish because it was a holiday weekend, but was restocked by Wednesday. "If you don't have crawfish, you can get crab or something else" he asked. "Why is crawfish so important?"

I used to work within walking--and shooting--distance of the seafood shop. I never gave much thought to foreign dignitaries being in the neighborhood. I wonder if he had his own national flag and anthem worked out?

Better thought: If "sovereign citizens" aren't American citizens...why can't we deport them?

[Note: originally published under my a.a. nickname in the alt.atheism newsgroup]