Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Bachmann's an Idiot. And a flake. A flaky idiot.

Par for the Republican course, it seems. Michele Bachmann is well-known for coming out with stupid--or dishonest--or both--things to say whenever there's a camera lurking around, but I think she's topped herself.

Whaaaaat? She topped her claim that the Shot Heard Round the World happened in New Hampshire?

Okay, this one's a close second to that.

Whaaaaaaaat?! She topped her claim that the Founding Fathers worked tirelessly to end slavery, and that John Quincy Adams was one of them?

Dammit! See, there's so much batshit with this wingnut that it's getting really hard to assess her kookness in terms of a top-ten.

She invoked the name of conservative magnet John Wayne and (not for the first time) linked him to Waterloo, Iowa.

She picked the wrong clown. She's actually talking about kid-killer John Wayne...Gacy, the Killer Clown. We wonder if she knows the difference between them. If Gacy was a Republican, she'd probably sing his praises, 33 murders notwithstanding.

She's since admitted to not being perfect, but stands by her stupidity, and that's why she's the new Republican Stupid Queen. Stand aside, Palin, you amateur. There's a new conservative cutie-pie on the stage with a flaky crust and an incredible batshit center!

Best thing I've seen said about her, from Bill Mahar: "Michele Bachmann! For People Who Find Sarah Palin Too Intellectual."

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Visiting Dignitary Disappointed by Lack of Crawfish

He must be a "visiting dignitary" because--according to him and his fellow "sovereign citizens"--he's not an American citizen, and not subject to our laws:

From Talking Points Memo:

A 'sovereign citizen' in Pensacola, Florida allegedly opened fire at a
seafood market after learning that they had run out of crawfish.

42 year-old Larry Wayne Kelly allegedly fired upon the L&T Seafood Market with an AK-47 from the window of his pickup truck, after he was told they had sold out of crawfish on Sunday.

Travis Griggs of the Pensacola News Journal reports:

Kelly allegedly called the seafood market to order crawfish and became "incredibly irate" when an employee said the store didn't have any, according to a Sheriff's Office report.

From 4:50 p.m. to 5:20 p.m., Kelly called the market 11 times, according to the business' caller ID. The later calls went unanswered because the business closed at 5 p.m., investigators said.

Employees found 11 bullet holes in the front of the store the next morning.

When law enforcement tracked him down and tried to arrest him on foot, Kelly allegedly attempted to hit them with his car.

According to the Sheriffs Department, four loaded guns were found in Kelly's car, including a 12-gauge shotgun, a pistol, and a revolver. The book "The Sociopath Next Door" was also found. Kelly told law enforcement that he is a sovereign citizen (someone who believes that almost all forms of government in the U.S. are illegitimate), and that he doesn't have to follow the law.

Griggs reports that Kelly was charged with "fleeing police, aggravated assault and weapons violations," but was soon released on a $32,000 bond Monday. He was then arrested again on the same day and charged with "firing at a building, firing from a vehicle and criminal mischief."

As of Wednesday, Kelly was being held on a $575,000 bond.

Store owner Tommy Nguyen told the News Journal he had sold out of crawfish because it was a holiday weekend, but was restocked by Wednesday. "If you don't have crawfish, you can get crab or something else" he asked. "Why is crawfish so important?"

I used to work within walking--and shooting--distance of the seafood shop. I never gave much thought to foreign dignitaries being in the neighborhood. I wonder if he had his own national flag and anthem worked out?

Better thought: If "sovereign citizens" aren't American citizens...why can't we deport them?

[Note: originally published under my a.a. nickname in the alt.atheism newsgroup]