Oil Kooks!

Something quick and easy to try to get back into writing about kooks. The database rebuild continues, the Illuminati continue to make my piece-of-crap computer crash at random, and I still hate computers.

But we're here to discuss the oil kooks who are weighing in on the recent fire and explosion of the Deepwater Horizon oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico.

From the far, far teabaggin' right, there's this guy, known only as "Voice" who gives us a laundry list of other conspiracies on Obama's watch as links in a nefarious chain of evil that lead to Obama needing to sabotage the oil rig!

4. NOW…there was a need for domestic OIL drilling. OBAMA had given his conclusion that some domestic OIL drilling was good for everybody. There was a backlash…in the OBAMA corner…and…it was so bad…OBAMA needed a disaster in the OIL INDUSTRY. And right on schedule…BOOM…OIL RIG in Gulf on fire and nobody KNOWS HOW it happened. It was an OIL RIG the government had issued some ‘REPAIR AND REPLACE’ directives…just…as they had done at that specific MINE.

WHAT IF…what if…OBAMA has a BLACK OPS TEAM. Certainly BUSH refused to use it as brazenly as OBAMA. Yet…the stakes are too high now. Might i very well be that OBAMA has elected to deploy the BLACKS OPS TEAMS? OBAMA is trying to impose his NANNY STATE because the opposition is growing. He knows he must secure all entitlement programs and control over as much industry before November of 2010 and November of 2012. He knows the PEOPLE are becoming aware of the YOKE AND CHOKE AGENDA of OBAMA and his vermin Hun-horde in Congress and elsewhere.

Plenty more spittle-spewin' kookness at the link! I made sure to save a copy of the page just in case those BLACK OPS TEAMS get ahold of him and send him to Gitmo. He might want to pack a suitcase. He's probably too close to THE TRUTH, since Obama's sending SWAT teams out as part of his Commie Muslim Government takeover!

Still, there's a different theory in the kookosphere that dictates a US Government blackout on The TRUTH!!!! See, Obama's BLACK OPS TEAMS didn't do it. It was the North Koreans! See, the North Koreans sailed a "cargo ship" out of "Cuba's" "Havana Harbor," out into the "Gulf of Mexico," where it dropped a super-secret "mini submarine," which "sailed" to the oil platform, "released" a pair of "incendiary torpedoes" to "set it on fire," then waited a "few days" before "sailing" under the platform and "blowing themselves the fark up." Yeah, we used a lot of scare quotes. We're simply trying to convey the appropriate amount of fear.

Why'd the North Koreans blow the platform up? Why, because it was built by SOUTH Korea. Since they're technically still at war (the South didn't sign the 1953 Armistice), this was a major coup in the ongoing battle, Komerade!

I especially dig the details in this one. Where the first guy relies on SCARY UPPER-CASE WORDS, the second tells us what make and model the sub was, what its range was, and even the military unit of those elite suicide snipers. You might ask why the 17th Sniper Corps were operating a super-secret sub.

COME ON, don't be naiive. NO ONE would expect snipers on a submarine! It's an utterly brilliant military tactic.

Besides, this information comes from Sorcha Faal, so it must be true!

Still...I wouldn't wanna be Mary Landrieu right now. Six months ago, the Senator from Louisiana--pallin' around with a BP suit, said that drillin' in the Gulf is perfectly safe! No one knew about the North Koreans.