Scump!

Ah, a new republican scumbag to make fun of, one even more thin-skinned and lacking in self-awareness than ol' MittBot in 2012.

This new guy's much worse in every way, from his obviously-expensive yet cheap-looking cheddar-toned spray tan to his ill-fitting pricey-but-cheap-looking $7,000 suits to that ridiculous hairspray-reinforced hair-DON'T! on his coconut.

As per our policy, he gets a nickname; his own name will only be grudgingly spelled out at need, and always lower-case. Good gods, this creature has amassed a collection of them:

scump
scumpenstein
the hair fuehrer
the cheddar peril
cheddar menace
combover napoleon
The Conald
conald scump
der hairkoenig
scumpty dumpty

his followers:
--scumptards
--scumpholes
--scumpa-lumpas
--dogs (specifically republican office-holers, etc., who swore up and down that they'd never endorse him, but who immediately fell to heel and rolled on their backs for this imagined strong man, like submissive fucking dogs)
--shitshirts

We hesitate to write about the narcissistic bastard, not only because of his legendary "threaten to sue the hell out of anyone who pricks his thin skin" reputation, but because doing so feeds that same narcissism. His already obese ego feeds off of ALL attention. But it is our nature to mock fascist shitbiscuits.

Our favorite toy for mocking him can be found at Little Green Footballs, where Charles Johnson set up a page that lets you fill in your own scump slogan and either save it to your computer or send it out to Twitter: