Bachmann's an Idiot. And a flake. A flaky idiot.

Par for the Republican course, it seems. Michele Bachmann is well-known for coming out with stupid--or dishonest--or both--things to say whenever there's a camera lurking around, but I think she's topped herself.

Whaaaaat? She topped her claim that the Shot Heard Round the World happened in New Hampshire?

Okay, this one's a close second to that.

Whaaaaaaaat?! She topped her claim that the Founding Fathers worked tirelessly to end slavery, and that John Quincy Adams was one of them?

Dammit! See, there's so much batshit with this wingnut that it's getting really hard to assess her kookness in terms of a top-ten.

She invoked the name of conservative magnet John Wayne and (not for the first time) linked him to Waterloo, Iowa.

She picked the wrong clown. She's actually talking about kid-killer John Wayne...Gacy, the Killer Clown. We wonder if she knows the difference between them. If Gacy was a Republican, she'd probably sing his praises, 33 murders notwithstanding.

She's since admitted to not being perfect, but stands by her stupidity, and that's why she's the new Republican Stupid Queen. Stand aside, Palin, you amateur. There's a new conservative cutie-pie on the stage with a flaky crust and an incredible batshit center!

Best thing I've seen said about her, from Bill Mahar: "Michele Bachmann! For People Who Find Sarah Palin Too Intellectual."

Visiting Dignitary Disappointed by Lack of Crawfish

He must be a "visiting dignitary" because--according to him and his fellow "sovereign citizens"--he's not an American citizen, and not subject to our laws:

From Talking Points Memo:

A 'sovereign citizen' in Pensacola, Florida allegedly opened fire at a
seafood market after learning that they had run out of crawfish.

42 year-old Larry Wayne Kelly allegedly fired upon the L&T Seafood Market with an AK-47 from the window of his pickup truck, after he was told they had sold out of crawfish on Sunday.

Travis Griggs of the Pensacola News Journal reports:

Kelly allegedly called the seafood market to order crawfish and became "incredibly irate" when an employee said the store didn't have any, according to a Sheriff's Office report.

From 4:50 p.m. to 5:20 p.m., Kelly called the market 11 times, according to the business' caller ID. The later calls went unanswered because the business closed at 5 p.m., investigators said.

Employees found 11 bullet holes in the front of the store the next morning.

When law enforcement tracked him down and tried to arrest him on foot, Kelly allegedly attempted to hit them with his car.

According to the Sheriffs Department, four loaded guns were found in Kelly's car, including a 12-gauge shotgun, a pistol, and a revolver. The book "The Sociopath Next Door" was also found. Kelly told law enforcement that he is a sovereign citizen (someone who believes that almost all forms of government in the U.S. are illegitimate), and that he doesn't have to follow the law.

Griggs reports that Kelly was charged with "fleeing police, aggravated assault and weapons violations," but was soon released on a $32,000 bond Monday. He was then arrested again on the same day and charged with "firing at a building, firing from a vehicle and criminal mischief."

As of Wednesday, Kelly was being held on a $575,000 bond.

Store owner Tommy Nguyen told the News Journal he had sold out of crawfish because it was a holiday weekend, but was restocked by Wednesday. "If you don't have crawfish, you can get crab or something else" he asked. "Why is crawfish so important?"

I used to work within walking--and shooting--distance of the seafood shop. I never gave much thought to foreign dignitaries being in the neighborhood. I wonder if he had his own national flag and anthem worked out?

Better thought: If "sovereign citizens" aren't American citizens...why can't we deport them?

[Note: originally published under my a.a. nickname in the alt.atheism newsgroup]

O'Crap!

[ Simulposted from Pareidolia ]

Christine O'Donnell's got one scary "O" face.

This one's an example of every reason I'll never vote for or support a Republican. The party continues to put up batshit insane right-wing fundie morons, racists, wild-eyed anti-abortionists, secessionist traitors, war-mongering empty suits, and rich assholes who don't want to pull their share of the tax load; and as long as they continue to cater to batshit insane right-wing fundie morons, racists, wild-eyed anti-abortionists, secessionist traitors, war-mongering empty suits, and rich assholes who don't want to pull their share of the tax load, they can get stuffed. The party's "politics" have devolved into things the government shouldn't be getting into at any level--gay marriage, religious crap in publicly-funded schools, abortion, Teri Schiavo. It's all about hot-button things to scare people into voting Red. PANIC! Commies under your bed! PANIC!! Look at those hippies! PANIC!!! Muslims! PANIC!!!! ATHEISTS!!!!!!! AUGH!!!!

Are you panicking yet?!

Sorry pricks.

Honestly, I thought President Fratboy was the bottom of the barrel, the worst the Goposaurs could manage. Damned if they didn't move the barrel bottom down a few feet when they found Sarah "Caribou Barbie" Palin. Then all hell broke loose--and the cesspool of Republican offerings has only gotten deeper--and this O'Donnell critter is the new bottom. Mice with human brains?! She wouldn't lie to Hitler to save Anne Frank?!

Funny how in that video she supposedly hates, hates, hates dishonesty--but she's been caught out lying--and brilliantly called out on it by this guy.

It took men like Lincoln to make the Republican Party mean something. It's taken right-wing idiots a few decades to shred the party and piss all over Lincoln's legacy while trying to dress themselves up to look like him. The teabaggers are simply finishing the demolition that began in the mid-1960's, when racist pricks abandoned the Democrats in the wake of Johnson's signing the Civil Rights Act into law.

The Party of Lincoln? Nope. The Party of O'Donnell.

Kookistan Freakout over...Oval Office Rug?

Seriously, yes.

My, my, those little short-bus folks on the wingnut fringe never seem to wear their helmets. No, they bump their heads together and find some new thing to scare each other with about the Kenyan Socialist Muslim Nazi anti-Christ black guy in the White House.

Now he's really done it.

Nobel Peace Prize Winner President Barack Obama has really done it.

He's redecorated the Oval Office. In BEIGE.

Looks nice, really--lightens up the room, the furniture looks comfortable.

But that's not IT--not the criminal act that the idiots in Kookistan are slavering over.

Nope. Nobel Peace Prize Winner President Barack Obama has...misquoted someone on his Presidential Rug. The rug has quotes from Abe Lincoln, both Roosevelts (Ted & Frank), Kennedy, and one from Martin Luther King.

That's the one that's got the Kookistanis wound up.

The MLK quote--"The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice."--is an Obama favorite; King used it frequently himself, but he was knowingly quoting Theodore Parker, an abolitionist who died in 1860. It could easily be that Obama wasn't aware of the true source of the quote. He's human. *shrug*

But the Kookistanis are in full shriek mode, like the little retards Palin-Americans they are:

God forgive me for thinking this, but Theodore Parker was a white man. Obama would rather the quote was from Martin Luther King, and he has demonstrated often enough that if you repeat a falsehood over and over, people will believe it.

RebeccaH on September 5, 2010 at 1:22 PM

Amazing how there's no irony in Kookistan, where falsehoods get repeated over and over, such as the birth certificate thing, the Kenyan thing, the Socialist thing, the Nazi thing.

Remaining true to form, once again Obama fails to get it right. According to the “peter principle” our fearless leader gained his level of incompetence upon his birth.

Wills on September 5, 2010 at 7:10 AM

Obama's "incompetent"? Heckuva job, Wills. Mission Accomplished.

Then there's this full-on meltdown:

If I was POTUS, instead of FDR and Kennedy, I would have quotes from Thomas Jefferson(Obamalinsky really hates him)George Washington, John Adams, Barry Goldwater, Ronald Reagan and GWB. I would also run an anti-Communist cleansing of the government that would make Sen. Joe McCarthy look like a Boy Scout.

Let’s just say my administration would be 180 degrees from Comrade Obamalinsky’s. An American for America in other words.

adamsmith on September 5, 2010 at 1:00 PM

"Obamalinsky." Weak.

There really needs to be an enforced helmet law in Kookistan. Sooner or later one of the the little darlings is gonna hurt himself.

Meanwhile, over at Daily Kos, one diarist looks at all the fuss, both from the Washington Post's Op-Ed writer and the waterhead wingnuts and calls 'em out:

If those exact words had been attributed to Mr. Theodore Parker, that would have been a mistake, because Mr. Parker never said them. King on the other hand did say them, on many, many occasions.

So, we have two levels of FAIL for Ms. Stiehm. She alleges that the quote is falsely attributed to Dr. King. She is wrong. Martin Luther King is the correct source for the words as they appear on the Oval Office rug. But even if she were correct that the quote was falsely attributed to King, her allegation that the "rug got it wrong" also fails, given that the rug itself does not attribute the quote to anyone.

Even so...how long before the Kookistanis get on the soup-can-and-string network and spread the word about this new evil in the White House?

War Crimes equal Votes!

No, it's no surprise these clowns are running as Republicans, let alone that they're PROUD of the crimes they committed--and which ended their military careers.

Who cares about something like that when there are VOTES to be garnered? "Look at me, I'm gonna be tough on TERRISTS just like Jack Bauer!"

Jerk the First: Ilario Pantano is running for a seat in North Carolina 7th District, challenging Dem incumbent Mike McIntyre. In April of 2004 Mr. War Hero filled a couple of unarmed prisoners with 50 to 60 rounds. Fifty to sixty. He reloaded, boom boom. Says it was freaking SELF DEFENSE. Afterward, he put up a sign with the Marines' slogan to warn the locals: "No Better Friend, No Worse Enemy."

Nice. The wingnuts love him. They were his ardent defenders when the Army charged him with premeditated murder. The case against him was dropped in 2005 because (among other things) a witness' testimony couldn't be corroborated.

Meanwhile, Dick is so proud of himself, he's made the incident the core of his Look-At-ME!! book, titled "No Better Friend, No Worse Enemy" (creative, huh?). The wingnuts adore him. I bet Michelle "Crazy Eyes" Malkin grows weak in the knees with desire for him.

Oh, well. At least he's got actual military service, unlike ex-President "Mission Accomplished!" Fratboy.

The good news is that an actual veteran--Will Breazeale, who was Pantano's opponent in the primaries--isn't going to stop hammering home the fact that Joey Pants is kind of a douche.


Clown the Second is Allen West, whom Sarah "Caribou Barbie" Palin thinks is just peachy keen. He's running in Florida's 22nd against Democrat Ron Klein.

West was forced to resign from the Army (Lt. Colonel) & fined $5,000 for his part in a beating harsh interrogation. The man was an Iraqi cop whom West had decided knew something about an upcoming ambush. West's men did the beating asked the questions. West decided things weren't moving quickly enough and fired his gun past the man's head to scare the truth out of him. The wingnuts adore him, too.

No ambush plot was ever uncovered (there were actual investigations by actual investigators), but West probably rationalizes the matter--"I disrupted the plot and saved lots of lives!! I'm Jack Bauer!!!!1!" The wingnuts don't care about such things. He's a freaking HERO.

Yeah. In a similar vein, if I don't pass gas at least once a day, aliens will come down and destroy the world. The only proof that matters is that this has not happened.

West says he sacrificed his military career for the lives of his men. I'd say that if any of them are still serving in Iraq or Afghanistan, they're much safer without this prick in command. Here's hoping that Florida's 22nd District will keep their mildly-Democratic standing.

This little rant is only a summary; there's so much more rant-worthy material at the Daily Beasts' page about the two wingnuts.

Oil Kooks!

Something quick and easy to try to get back into writing about kooks. The database rebuild continues, the Illuminati continue to make my piece-of-crap computer crash at random, and I still hate computers.

But we're here to discuss the oil kooks who are weighing in on the recent fire and explosion of the Deepwater Horizon oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico.

From the far, far teabaggin' right, there's this guy, known only as "Voice" who gives us a laundry list of other conspiracies on Obama's watch as links in a nefarious chain of evil that lead to Obama needing to sabotage the oil rig!

4. NOW…there was a need for domestic OIL drilling. OBAMA had given his conclusion that some domestic OIL drilling was good for everybody. There was a backlash…in the OBAMA corner…and…it was so bad…OBAMA needed a disaster in the OIL INDUSTRY. And right on schedule…BOOM…OIL RIG in Gulf on fire and nobody KNOWS HOW it happened. It was an OIL RIG the government had issued some ‘REPAIR AND REPLACE’ directives…just…as they had done at that specific MINE.

WHAT IF…what if…OBAMA has a BLACK OPS TEAM. Certainly BUSH refused to use it as brazenly as OBAMA. Yet…the stakes are too high now. Might i very well be that OBAMA has elected to deploy the BLACKS OPS TEAMS? OBAMA is trying to impose his NANNY STATE because the opposition is growing. He knows he must secure all entitlement programs and control over as much industry before November of 2010 and November of 2012. He knows the PEOPLE are becoming aware of the YOKE AND CHOKE AGENDA of OBAMA and his vermin Hun-horde in Congress and elsewhere.

Plenty more spittle-spewin' kookness at the link! I made sure to save a copy of the page just in case those BLACK OPS TEAMS get ahold of him and send him to Gitmo. He might want to pack a suitcase. He's probably too close to THE TRUTH, since Obama's sending SWAT teams out as part of his Commie Muslim Government takeover!

Still, there's a different theory in the kookosphere that dictates a US Government blackout on The TRUTH!!!! See, Obama's BLACK OPS TEAMS didn't do it. It was the North Koreans! See, the North Koreans sailed a "cargo ship" out of "Cuba's" "Havana Harbor," out into the "Gulf of Mexico," where it dropped a super-secret "mini submarine," which "sailed" to the oil platform, "released" a pair of "incendiary torpedoes" to "set it on fire," then waited a "few days" before "sailing" under the platform and "blowing themselves the fark up." Yeah, we used a lot of scare quotes. We're simply trying to convey the appropriate amount of fear.

Why'd the North Koreans blow the platform up? Why, because it was built by SOUTH Korea. Since they're technically still at war (the South didn't sign the 1953 Armistice), this was a major coup in the ongoing battle, Komerade!

I especially dig the details in this one. Where the first guy relies on SCARY UPPER-CASE WORDS, the second tells us what make and model the sub was, what its range was, and even the military unit of those elite suicide snipers. You might ask why the 17th Sniper Corps were operating a super-secret sub.

COME ON, don't be naiive. NO ONE would expect snipers on a submarine! It's an utterly brilliant military tactic.

Besides, this information comes from Sorcha Faal, so it must be true!

Still...I wouldn't wanna be Mary Landrieu right now. Six months ago, the Senator from Louisiana--pallin' around with a BP suit, said that drillin' in the Gulf is perfectly safe! No one knew about the North Koreans.

We're still offline.

Because of an epic computer crash caused, no doubt, by the Illuminati in retribution for my mockery, or maybe some chaff from a crop circle that got into the hard drive.

I had almost 600 names and organizations in a spreadsheet, a bunch of stuff collected...I'm rebuilding in between reinstalling stuff on the damn computer and sitting on my can.